i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
