No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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