the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
