Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Randomize
