I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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