its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize