Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
