i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
