I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
