He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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