he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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