I puked a lego.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
