You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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