I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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