overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
