I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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