here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
