I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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