Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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