girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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