I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
pray to the hookup gods
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
