hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
did i walk over a car last night?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
