Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hippo gnu deer
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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