Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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