lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I touched a dick in church today
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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