he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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