yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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