Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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