my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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