I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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