what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
