So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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