just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize