At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
