well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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