Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Also, beer. Big fan.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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