You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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