The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
