She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize