Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
