community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
