Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
