Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dicks are not precious.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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