That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i out mim tonsoeep
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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