Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
