So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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