Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
