So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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