3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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