time to smoke my breakfast
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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