it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The uberlube is also flammable
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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