i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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