At least make sure they are 18
Why
Yo dont text me then not text me
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
