I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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