can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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