We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
