I hate all girls vehemently.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
