I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
id be glad to
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
