i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
