You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
