she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she smelled like a LAN party
do herpes really smell.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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