fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize