I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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