I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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