...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
