rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
