If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
