Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
