You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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