She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
