dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
