I hate your face
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
