Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize