No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
When are your genitals available?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
