It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
