covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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