I want to walk on stilts...naked
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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