Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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