I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
