Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
