Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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