lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
