Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
