Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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