Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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