The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
