There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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