my shit smells like andre
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
