One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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