the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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